Stop “Shoulding on Yourself:” Personal Development Books You Should Read — Week 1
Y’all, I get a lot of random Facebook messages. For example, today I talked with a personal-trainer-turned-life coach, a Harvard Law grad interested in style blogging and a kink/BDSM entrepreneur.
I love this life.
One of the questions I get the most, though, is “What should I be reading?” You see, I post a lot about the books I’m reading (personal development or Urban Fantasy, usually), and folks love to ask for recs that they may not end using.
Because personal development is fucking scary.
It’s scary to open your brain/heart/soul up to someone who may be full of shit. Or scary to admit you need help in the first place.
But you’re different. You’re here, reading this post, becuase you wan to grow/stretch yourself/see the unknown.
Below is a brain dump (no order in particular) of 5 personal development or business books I’ve found helpful for myself, and my coaching clients. I’ll be writing themed listicles later (“Books for When You’re Out of Excuses” coming up), but for now, enjoy these picks!
Buy the one that scares you the most, because it’s the one you need.
Oh ALSO! Remember that when reading personal development/business books, you take what works for you and leave the rest. No one book is going to jive 100% with the way you view the world — and that’s a good thing. Take a walk on the wildside/inch outside of your comfort zone and read something new. :* ❤
Remember that when reading personal development or business books, you take what works for you and leave the rest.
1. “You Are a Badass at Making Money” by Jen Sincero
Y’all, I grew up in a feast/famine household. My family was broke for a few years, then sitting easy for a few years, then broke again (it happens, I love you Mom!). I showed up to Stanford with a $400 laptop, and have had a money/identity crisis since. ANYWAYS, I have a LOT of baggage when it comes to money. If you feel like all rich people are scum, then you NEED TO READ THIS GODDAMN BOOK. Life is too short to be angry about (or at) money all the time!
Favorite quote: “Pretending you can reach great heights without proper funds is cray.”
2. “I Write What I Like” by Steve Biko
Y’all, I’m white. Like Wonder Bread white. Like I took a DNA test from 23&ME and was told I was 98% Western European (why did I pay $120 to learn that, anyways?). And, as a white person who wants to change the world — strike that, IS CHANGING THE WORLD, I can do some shitty stuff on accident. They’re called micro aggressions, and this book helped me learn how to unlearn my sense of entitlement and work with people from different backgrounds. READ THIS BOOK.
Favorite Quote: “Instead of involving themselves in an all-out attempt to stamp out racism from their white society, liberals waste a lot of time trying to prove to as many blacks as they can find that they are liberal.”
3.“Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson
In a rapidly changing world, folks often go to bed one day with a secure job or income, and wake up to a totally changed industry. (Okay, it’s usually a little bit slower, but stay with me, here.). This book uses a parable of mice in a lab to to talk about how we keep showing up to life/business expecting the same old same old, and this really screws people over.
Favorite quote: “What you are afraid of is never as bad as what you imagine. The fear you let build up in your mind is worse than the situation that actually exists.”
4. “Crucial Conversations” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
I used to pride myself on being blunt. “I’m just honest!” I’d say with a sassy shrug. The thing is, there’s being an honest HBIC who doesn’t verbally dance around issues, and then there’s being a mean asshole. This book helps you say what needs to be said, when the stakes are high and being a bull in a china shop isn’t working anymore.
Favorite quote: “You know what? We need to talk about this. I’m glad you asked the question. Thank you for taking that risk. I appreciate the trust it shows in me.”
5. “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
Y’all, I can do approximately 2 push ups and have a ton of [angry] feelings about the US Military Industrial Complex. That said, this book is BADASS. Written by retired SEALS, it helps you take ownership of your life. One of the biggest problems when working within a team (and, yes, as a consultant/coach/solopreneur I still have to work within teams) is accountability. This book takes you through being 112% accountable for everything, so you can change and fix just about any business issue.
Sometimes the solution is having a hard conversation or getting rid of free loaders and Negative Nancy’s. And, a lot of the time the problem is you/me. If you’re ready for some tough love, get this book.
Favorite quote: “It’s not what you preach, it’s what you tolerate.”
Currently reading: “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance“ and “Feminist Fight Club” and I feel like I should’ve written these GD books.
What personal development books would you recommend to friends? Drop me a 140 character line with a tip!
